James

At my job at the spa, I sometimes work with a 69 year old Filipino man named James. James is an attendant at the spa and when it gets busy, and honestly just for my own enjoyment, I go to the men's side and help him keep things clean and tidy so he can have a chance to sit down. In return, he always gives me chocolates and crackers. Today, this conversation ensued.

James: Riley, have you ever heard of the little girl singer from the Philippines named Charice?

Riley: Oh yeah, she was just on Glee right?

James: Yes, oh yes, yes she was on Glee. You should come to Japan to see her concert with me.

Riley: .........I'm sorry, what?

James: Yes! Yes, come to Japan!

Riley: Um...Japan?

James: Yes! yes, why not?

Riley: James...Japan is on the other side of the world.

James: Well its only a 16 hour plane ride. You know what you do? You drink a bottle of wine on the plane and by the time you wake up you'll be there.

Riley: But you can't open a bottle of wine on the plane.

James: Then you drink 16 little wine bottles on the plane my friend!

Riley: Ah yes....such a simple solution.

James: I told my cousin, I said, I told him...okay, if you get me front row ticket, I'll fly.

Riley: Seriously??

James: Yes, you know why, its because I saw her at Mandalay Bay when she come here and she was so far. I say, I don't want to be so far away! I want to be right in the front so I can say (lifting up his arms) OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU!!!!!

Riley: ..............

James: (laughing) My wife get so mad. She say "James, I am ashamed of you!"

Riley: Oh James.....you should write a book.

James: I do! I do write. Screenplays! They have been made into movies in the Philippines!

Riley: .......well......can I be in one?