Bow Wow Wowwwwww

The sentence, "I mean, I haven't had sex in forever...I'd date a dog if it humped me," just left my mouth.

I can't find a job to save my life. And I say that for both the "old timey saying" feeling as well as the complete and utter truth in every part of that sentence. I ate bread and stolen alouette cheese for dinner last night.

I'm going to a job fair at Urban Outfitters on the Wednesday of next week. You might know, all 5 of you who potentially read this, that I have written a blog commenting on the complete pompousness and uselessness of the typical Urban Outfitter employee, and I now hope to join their ranks. I actually will beg to if it comes down to it. And let's be honest, I'll probably get on my knees and beg whether it's necessary or not. Call me a hypocrite if you want...it has a certain ring to it. But if a good outfit that compliments the outwardly shallow and material part of yourself isn't worth compromising your morals, then really, what is? Do share.

I have attended two auditions this week to no avail I believe, and I blame it on the fact that they both took place inside churches. God likes to play little tricks on me where he sees in how many ways he can inconvenience my life in completely non life threatening and harmlessly frustrating ways...and these two times he had the home court advantage. Much like the LAKERS, who are a BASKETBALL TEAM, that I WATCHED win a COMPETITION...of sorts...I believe. I'm now a "dude's dude," if you will.

Examples of the aforementioned fun of God include one Riley McIlveen getting his hand stuck between his car seat and the middle panel, alone, while lost, while in a running car, at a stop sign in the middle of Little Mexico, Los Angeles., while the car is still in drive.