Bloggie

I just bought myself this little number for my birthday. Prepare to welcome me to the world of video blogging.

Mollz

She gets me.

oh, just a photo booth nbd

I thought if I went in order from most drunk to least it would just leave everyone with a prettier picture of me in their head. I like that in the top picture up there, it is apparent how drunk I am by the fact that I have apparently given up on trying to make any interesting faces.

My Birthday in NYC was preceded by a trip to the green living, blue hearted, snow fucking covered land of Providence, Rhode Island, where I partook in vegetarian meals, coffee shop book reading, a love affair with a space heater, a drunk night dancing on a gay bar platform, and a party crash that resulted in a window being broken by a member of my party and me running away from the house through the dark, icy night, continuously falling as I discovered that alcohol, fast speeds, and brown suede cowboy boots just don't mix like my usual whiskey and coke. At least I looked cute. Which, incidentally is my new life motto whenever I experience random moments of self reflection and examine my depressingly stagnant position in life. Well....at least I look good today. Ka-boom.

Hooheyhoorah

I don't think this is an effective way to clean.

Goooon

This is what I tell myself when my mom thinks I'm not being productive with my life. This is MY TIME DOWN HERE. I'm always a bit perplexed at the end of this movie when Mikey throws his inhaler away and says, "Aw, who needs it?"......You do. You do, Mikey. You have asthma and now will die. It's just...it's just irresponsible is all I'm saying. It's kind of like in Willy Wonka when Charlie finds the golden ticket and then throws the chocolate on the ground. I am ALWAYS frustrated when I see this part. Charlie....you're starving. You have four bed-ridden grandparents sharing one bed, and a mother who washes clothes at night and sings in dark alley ways. Someone would have eaten that chocolate. The trip to the factory isn't until tomorrow...what are you going to eat until then, I ask you?

I mean, RIGHT?

D-ROCK

Derek: I woke up this morning and saw that my mom was sleeping next to me...it was one of those nights.

Riley: Could be worse...I woke up next to an empty bag of beef jerky.

merp merp

TFRP: (Text From Riley's Phone)

1. SM: (in regard to her bikini wax) She said she doesn't do shapes bc they usually look lame. bummer.

2. MR: My facebook status should really say..."I give him blow-j's...he gives me hand warmers"...but my mom would be pissed

Me: But in all honesty, those would be great song lyrics.

MR: Call Ke$ha...let's book it.


3. SM: I had a dream last night that you turned my cats into cigarettes and smoked them and buried the butts in my backyard. sickk.

Noo Yeer

Titus introduced me to the website www.garfieldminusgarfield.net.....and I don't know why I've been without it for so long, so I thought I'd share.

So I was thinking for New Years, maybe if I write out my resolutions I will actually stick to them. I don't know if it counts when you make them on January 3rd but I feel like resolutions give me that extra kick in the ass I need to actually commit to change.

1. Only drink once a week. (heavy sigh)

2. Work out and swim every day: I actually have a chant that I say when I work out and it gets too hard. It goes "look good..(lift)....naked..(down)....look good..(lift)....naked..(down)..."

3. Read 2 new books a month: I figure this will help me finish the two books that are currently occupying my back pack and have been doing so for almost a month now, unfinished. I'm sorry, but reading a book that takes place in Communist Russia just gets a bit HEAVY sometimes. Jesus.

4. Update my blog at least twice a week. Someone, somewhere might eventually be drunk enough to let me write a book.

I can't think of any more. I suppose I will in the following weeks and add them to the list. And if someone tries to tell me it's too late for resolutions, I will pee on them.