Look up restless in the dictionary and you will find a picture of me, sitting on my couch in my boxer briefs, a bag of cheese its at my side, and a dog at my feet. I have been itching to write for a while now, however I feel like anyone who reads this may leave a little more disgusted in me and possibly a little less intelligent. Just like I like them.
This week I have spent most of my time trying to come up with the perfect analogy as to how I feel right now. I've deduced that I'm just like Sonic the Hedgehog, spinning in one place just ready to try and hedgehog roll his ass around the loop, with every intention of destroying destructive machinery, freeing wildlife creatures, and collecting some fancy gold rings all at the same time. Except I am STILL sitting and spinning in one place. Other analogies I thought of were hot wheels and something with a hummingbird, but I couldn't figure out quite where to go with that one.
I have a new game where I watch the battery life in my computer slowly drain, then rise again once I plug it in. I feel with each millimeter that descends into my computer battery's death, a little piece of my soul goes with it...or probably just some brain cells. Who am I kidding? The whiskey took those with it months ago.
So what better way to spend my last few days here than watching videos of child prodigies. No matter what, talented kids under 13 all just seem like dicks (Don't even get me started on old school Dakota Fanning). Any pre-pubescent middle schooler that makes me jealous I'm not them deserves to get robbed, by me. Except for these three girls, because I imagine they could kick my ass.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wX7EhyREhyU(The blonde one is my future daughter)
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